Live...

I know, I know – I really am not very good at keeping this blog regular and posting updates as life happens, but I do try and surely “it’s the thought that counts”? ;p

September has flown by in a haze of coping, making it from one day to another and I now realise living.

I have celebrated a birthday, attended a scrapbook convention {which really fed my soul}, watched my oldest daughter sing her heart out at her concert and do us {her mom and Dad} totally proud, attended a fantastic show with some good friends and made some decisions regarding my next impending medical drama!

So in essence I blinked and now we are in October!

Getting older certainly gets better each year as I become more comfortable with who I am and what is important, and once again my special people made me feel very special on my birthday early in September! My husband really got it this year… and put a whole lot of effort into my birthday cards, and I received one from him {which made me laugh, and love him a little more if that’s possible} and one from each of my girls which they chose out themselves and which totally represented their personalities and made my heart melt. For me the gifts are lovely but not imperative, it’s the effort and thought that means the most and Shane certainly scored very high points there this year! So a good start off to the month <3

Then I got to attend the International Scrapbook convention held in Johannesburg. I used to attend this every year, but with moving, pregnancy and just general chaos, I haven’t been in a few years – It was amazing to catch up with my TT {Thursday Therapy;)} girls, let alone all the scrapping, but it was kinda bittersweet as it REALLY made me miss them and my old life when it was time to go home. The funny thing though is that since it was my first time flying since my medical drama last year, I was thoroughly amused to find that my Dr wasn’t kidding and I can longer pass the security checks without setting off alarm bells because of all the metal clips etc. now permanently taking up residence in my abdomen! I was searched thoroughly (luckily just short of the glove) each time! Why this amuses me so, I’m not quite sure, but it does and each time I have a good giggle! {Insert shrug here!}

I will post some of the fantastic projects we did shortly, as I’m sure you’ll all enjoy a peek!

Then after months of practice I got to experience such a “proud mommy moment” or two;), when Kayla took to the stage, the youngest performer at just age 8, with the oldest being 18! So confident she did her thing and literally sang her heart out, even contending with a bit of the flu, she made us so, so Proud! Who knew she could have such a good voice? And to remember all those dance moves, I could never do that! She was amazing! <3

 

This month I also finally got to attend Madam Zingara – WOW! The wait was well worth it, we had a table of twelve good friends and had such a fantastic evening! We all dressed up for the theme “theatre of dreams” and had an absolute ball. I really felt like I’ve lived this month! Madam Zingara is a circ de solei kind of act, which takes place in the last glass and mirror tent left in the world! A privilege to have been able to experience it, especially with all the laughs and fun had amongst our good friends!

On the subject of living, I realised that I had been holding my breath, waiting for this next operation… and have resolved to try my best to LIVE and enjoy my beautiful girls and special friends and all the amazing opportunities that are all around us every day.

It seems an easy enough thing to do, and I thought I had learnt this lesson already last year after missing out on so much while being bed ridden, but it happens so easily…we get caught up in all that’s going on – three young children can be a handful, let alone running a household, running a business and trying to find time for Shane and I as just us, and our lives are chaotic, but I am learning to find that balance a little better and to prioritise the IMPORTANT things and people.

So, the decision we made (and I say we as my surgeries can effectively have a huge impact on my husband, just as much as me and I need him to be sure of the steps I take). After doing so much to-ing and fro-ing with pro and cons lists (hehe – can’t help myself it seems) we decided that we are going to go ahead with the op. Big Sigh* We feel that since it is inevitable that my gallbladder will need to come out at some stage, we might as well opt for it to be taken out by a set of prepared and informed doctors in a calm surgery, instead of waiting for an emergency and not knowing who will be operating and raising the risks that much higher.

So I psyched myself up for the 25th September, organised the kids, did a million lists and informed all who needed to know, only for one of the doctors to end up being not available at the last minute and so I opted to postpone! Huge anti-climax…

I only realised after the op was cancelled, how nervous I was as I literally felt lighter and felt like for the first time since making the decision, that I could actually breathe!

Anyway, the op has been postponed till the second week in October (I am still waiting for date confirmation) and although some days are hard to handle, I am managing and the handfuls of meds that I am taking to solve this and counteract that in the meantime, seems to be helping. My family as usual have been amazing and I think this time I will be perhaps more prepared emotionally and better equipped to get through whatever comes my way! Everything for a reason I am reminded!

I’ve had September to LIVE, to remind me of the little things and to take stock once again of just how blessed I am.

This journey has been a long one and is sadly far from over, but the people I have met and what I have overcome along the way has been worth it, let alone my little miracle that manages to burst my heart right open every day…and I will continue to learn and love and live till it’s over.

Thanks for reading and for all your support.
xxx