The things that count...

Sigh! Well today is a day of highs and lows... did my usual 4am pain wake up call, where I wake up in so much pain I feel like I can’t breathe and then, thanks to my very special and dedicated D K I had a new pain med to try this morning {insert grin from ear to ear here!).

And what do you know...it worked!? Well I was so excited once I realised that the pain was actually dulling and that I didn’t need to double over anymore and steel myself against it ... I then did the next thing one does in these situations... I pathetically burst into tears! Tears of utter joy and relief! Then I thanked God for yet another small miracle.

I can’t explain what a relief it is to finally know that when I really just can’t bare it anymore there is something I can do! Until you have faced this pain on a daily basis, you will think I’m potentially bonkers. In fact my own husband thinks I am bonkers I’m sure and he has been there every step of the way and is the poor sod woken by my tossing and turning and frequent trips to the kitchen to warm my trusty wheat bag, which until today was the only form of soothing I had.

Okay so that was the “high” part of my day – moving on now to the “low”...just a few hours after realising that I had {help} I started to feel an uncomfortable itching sensation moving from my chest and neck up to my face and my face began to swell. Then the hives started over the rest of my body...sigh...so now I’m thinking how bad this itching thing in the big scheme of things actually is? Because the pain is way worse so I’d pick a little itching anytime!?

But the conclusion is; never a dull moment it seems in my post operative rollercoaster...maybe tomorrow will be a better day?

In case some of you are confused...I was hospitalised again last week with excruciating pain in my abdomen...no it didn’t just suddenly start again – it has never really gone away but it was totally manageable for some time and then it slowly stated to escalate till I reached my threshold.

Turns out that after my three abdominal surgeries last year, and all the packing and fiddling to stop bleeding etc. and scraping of innards to get rid of all traces of that nasty placenta of mine and of course the hysterectomy, a lot of invasive stuff was done to my abdomen leading to adhesions forming as it heals. Now adhesions are these nasty bits of call it scar tissue that form between your innards almost gluing them together like dried chewing gum and they stop your innards from being able to move around voluntarily with your body movements like they used to and thus causing quite a bit of pain for me!

So in a nutshell I was admitted to hospital put on a drip so I didn’t have to eat and therefore no peristaltic movement and supposedly no pain...and it would allow the sub acute bowel obstruction that had formed due to all of this to sort itself out. Now they can operate and try to cut away and fix all the adhesions but that could potentially leave me worse off than I am, as they will just form again and there is also all sorts of risks just opening me up and to be honest...the mere thought of another op terrifies me!

So I was discharged after a few days with the knowledge that this would not be my last trip to hospital, that full bowel obstructions, perforations and twisted intestines are expected at some point and these if untreated can be lethal so I need to learn to manage my pain??? i.e. live with it indefinitely and know when to get to the hospital! Rather a daunting thing to be told at 34 years of age with a young family to raise!  

So for now I am “processing” all of this and trying to be thankful for mine and Livies lives at least and manage as best I can without being a grouchy Grinch to my children and husband.

But onto happier more creative things... cause despite it all I’ve been a busy girl since last we spoke J

Planned and pulled off my big Girl, Kayla’s 8^th Birthday party – a rocking one at that!

I have done a Preggie photo shoot for my friend Mia, thrown her a baby shower along with my sister-in-law:

Had loads of fun with my weekly Project Life challenge <3

{for more info or where to get yours call Project life on 011 2814859}

Finished off Olivia’s Butterfly mobile for over her changing station <3

Celebrated Valentine’s Day with my special Guy and made the cutest Valentines treats for Kayla’s class which I am reading mom for...

So in amongst it all I am still trucking and finding joy in the little things, as they are the things that count!

xxx