Olivia Faith's Baptism...

I mentioned that in amongst the last three crazy weeks of school holidays we finally got around to baptising Livie.

This was a big day for me, as I felt that it was so important to promise her back to our maker just as he had given her to us…

So with almost all her special people gathered and a few* pretty treats prepared, we made our way to North Durban Presbyterian church.

The minister had asked me to say a few words to bring those of the congregation that did not know our story up to speed so I sumarised as much as I could...it was only an hour service;) and I took the opportunity to thank those that did know and had supported us along the way and I thought I’d share it here.

Sunday 7th July 2012

Today is a very special day for our family and especially for our little Olivia Faith.

I want to start off by thanking everyone for coming and supporting our beautiful daughter today and for supporting our family since her birth and before. The love and kindness that we have received from all of you has been overwhelming. The phone calls, the messages, the visits, gifts and especially the prayers have helped our family enormously. Just knowing that all of you were standing by us and holding us up has touched our hearts in a way that words can’t possibly describe. We have been so very humbled.

We found out that I was expecting late in 2010, a complete surprise to both Shane and I, but as with all gifts of this type I was thrilled. The pregnancy didn’t start off well though, and early on by 8 weeks, I was diagnosed with Placenta Previa (a low lying placenta), and shortly after, hospitalised due to bleeding. At that stage I wasn’t aware that I was carrying triplets and sadly by the beginning of January I had suffered an inevitable miscarriage. It was shortly thereafter that my gynae advised me that I had in fact miscarried, but that there was evidence of two further embryos. Twins!

And so our journey together started… I remember asking Dr K at that point, what I could do to help keep my babies safe and avoid another miscarriage and his answer was simple … Pray.

And pray I did, sadly within the next few weeks one of the heartbeats no longer showed up on the ultra sound, but one very strong little heartbeat hung on – Olivia.

Even from that point we were seeing Dr K every 2 weeks and each visit Olivia grew and grew. But by 16 weeks I was aware that something was very wrong. At that early point I was feeling heavy and uncomfortable like I did nearing the end of my two previous pregnancies, and was also breathless and battling to sleep at night because of the severe pain.

After some investigation, Placenta Percreta was confirmed. This being a very rare condition where the Placenta grows through the uterine wall and into neighbouring organs. There were six known cases worldwide and the prognosis was not good.

So at 16 weeks I was put on full bed rest. Family and friends rallied around and those months seemed to drag from one doctor’s visit to another and I held my breath each time until I saw my teeny, tiny little girl’s heartbeat on the monitor. The challenges of being bed ridden with two other children and a very hardworking husband were not easy, but with God’s grace and amazing support, we managed.

Finally we reached the point when the risk of my mortality was higher than the benefits to Olivia to keep her in my belly. The doctors were well prepared for my expected complications and blood loss and thankfully all went well.

Olivia was born at 32 weeks at 7.47am on the 21st June 2011, at just 1.31kilograms, she took her first breath, cried and then stopped breathing…I thankfully was asleep for this as with the risks being so high Olivia was delivered under General anaesthetic. Thankfully Olivia was stabilized and spent the next almost two months in NICU growing and fighting and stealing all the nurses’ hearts.

The next few months consisted of chemo therapy for me and various surgeries’ and finally a full hysterectomy to deal with my placental issues. Then finally after quite an ordeal, we were both sent home to heal.

Olivia turned one a couple of weeks ago… a whole year has passed since that early morning in that cold sterile theatre as the slow, steady rhythm of the beeping machines in the background lulled me to sleep.

As I think back I can still smell the disinfectant in the room and feel the Goosebumps prickle my skin under the warm blanket on that hard cold operating table. I gulped back my fear, held on tight to Shane’s hand, said a final pleading prayer and then, there was nothing … nothing but him keeping me going, keeping me strong.

That was the first of my surgeries; there were three further and each time the same pleading prayer…don’t leave me, please give me the strength to get through this…just a little further.

I am often asked how I kept so positive and strong and all I can say is that it was not me, it was him. He never let me believe for a minute that either of us wouldn’t make it and this verse often rang true;

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see Hebrews 11.1


Today those early days of anxiety mixed with excitement, and pure relief and joy every time we got a positive update on Olivia’s progress seem light years away – did it really even happen to us?

I watch Olivia play on the mat in the early morning sunshine, and I marvel at the miracle in front of me… to think, had I not the faith and the stubborn belief that we could make it, had I listened to the Doctors early warnings of deformity, mortality and more, had I made the choice to terminate this little mite, I would not be able to watch this dinky, strong, feisty, loving little girl busily moving around the floor, playing with this and that, jabbering quietly and coming over every now and then to give her mum a cuddle, flash that heart melting smile of hers and show me the toy she just discovered…

And then I am thankful, so very thankful that I was brought up in a Christian home, that I have the mother I do and the family that jumped to our support. Without my faith and special people this miracle girl would not be here, and we would not have completed our family and we would have missed out on so, so much joy!

And also were it not for all our doctors and nurses and all the amazing neonatal staff at Umhlanga Hospital our life as we know it would not be. He put them in our path and led us to this place and for that we feel so very blessed.

Shane and I feel like the luckiest parents in the world to have been blessed with not one, not two, but three amazing strong, confident and loving little girls. When something like this happens you tend to re-evaluate your life and I am aware of just how much this has taught us.

It has taught us strength, a strength I never thought I had. It has taught me to appreciate life and all of the little things. It has taught me trust, to put that trust in God as never at any point have I felt alone, it has taught me acceptance, the strength to accept the hand I have been dealt, it has taught me human kindness and it teaches me still.

About four months after my last op, I was again struck with severe pain and it was found that due to all the surgeries and intervention, adhesions had formed between my intestines, colon and other internal organs literally gluing my insides together with a chewing gum like substance. So as my body works my organs pull against each other causing severe pain.

My doctors and I are still working on that, and I have good days and bad, but I’m doing okay and mostly manage to supress the pain and instead concentrate on my three beautiful girls and long suffering husband.

Olivia is doing so well, on the whole healthy and happy, a little on the small side, but we all know that dynamite comes in small packages. People often comment that when Olivia is a difficult teenager I can remind her of what I went through to give her life, but each time it is said I have the same violent emotional reaction… my body let her down, she did nothing to me, nothing but be the bravest little mite I know and the feistiest little fighter around. I am so proud of her and couldn’t in a million years blame her for anything but bringing me closer to God and making me a better person.

I would do it all again in a heartbeat just to be able to see her silly smile and tickle those tiny feet.

Today we as a family bring you Olivia for the sacrament of Baptism, so that you may be brought up in the faith of Christ and as a member of his church… just as I was. True faith is very personal and my wish for you is that you always know what a miracle you are and how special you are because you were spared.

The world is a better place with you in it Olivia, and I thank heaven above for my daughter and my life.

Where I am week, he is strong.

This was tough to stand up in front of the congregation and say, and I did get a bit choked up here and there but I think it was good for me to do it and definitely part of our healing process, as upon writing these words a flood of things long supressed came out and at least now I am stronger and better able able to deal and move forward...

Thanks for reading.